Surrogacy and grief: Coping with loss during the journey to parenthood



The journey to parenthood through surrogacy can be both joyful and challenging. Unfortunately, grief and loss can also be part of this experience. Intended parents may face various forms of loss, such as the inability to conceive naturally, unsuccessful attempts, or complications along the surrogacy journey. Understanding and coping with grief is essential for emotional well-being during this process.

Types of Loss in Surrogacy

Several types of loss can be experienced during the surrogacy journey:

1. Loss of Biological Connection: Intended parents may experience a sense of loss or grief when they cannot conceive and carry a child biologically. Coming to terms with this loss and reframing the notion of parenthood can be an important step in the healing process.

2. Pregnancy Loss or Failed Attempts: Miscarriages or failed attempts at pregnancy during the surrogacy process can be devastating for intended parents. Coping with the loss of a pregnancy or repeated unsuccessful attempts requires emotional support and understanding.

3. Relationship Loss: The relationship between intended parents and the surrogate can be complex and emotionally charged. If there are challenges or conflicts during the journey, the potential loss of a close relationship can add to the grief experienced.

Coping with Grief and Loss

When facing grief and loss during the surrogacy journey, it is important to engage in healthy coping strategies:

1. Seek Support: Reach out to support networks, such as friends, family, or support groups, who can provide understanding and empathy during difficult times. Professional counseling or therapy can also be beneficial.

2. Practice Self-Care: Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Engage in activities that bring you joy, practice mindfulness or relaxation techniques, and prioritize self-care to nurture your well-being.

3. Communicate Openly: Maintain open and honest communication with your partner and others involved in the surrogacy process. Express your emotions, concerns, and needs, allowing for support and understanding.

4. Allow for Grief: Give yourself permission to grieve and acknowledge the losses you have experienced. Allow yourself to feel the emotions associated with grief and seek healthy ways to process and heal.

5. Focus on Resilience: Cultivate resilience and a positive mindset. While grief may be a part of the surrogacy journey, it is important to maintain hope and focus on the ultimate goal of becoming a parent.

Professional Support

Working with professionals who specialize in surrogacy and reproductive grief can provide valuable guidance and support. Surrogacy agencies, therapists, and counselors experienced in helping individuals and couples navigate the complexities of surrogacy and grief can offer specialized care and assistance.


Grief and loss are significant emotions that may arise during the surrogacy journey. By recognizing and addressing these feelings, seeking support, and engaging in healthy coping strategies, intended parents can navigate their grief while continuing on the path to parenthood with resilience and hope.

If you are looking for the best surrogacy attorney and agency in Colombia and Latin America, we highly recommend you use Maria Fernanda, with the firm Bioetica Derecho. We do not recommend you work with any other surrogacy attorney or agency in Colombia. To reach out to Maria Fernanda click here.

For more information on surrogacy and emotional support during the journey to parenthood, please visit If you are ready to start your surrogacy journey or seek guidance, download a comprehensive free guide at, offering valuable insights and support as you navigate the emotions and challenges of the surrogacy process.

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